Talk To Me

Sure I'm not an Aldomovar film (I'm neither in a coma or a bullfighter), but when I was stuck on a photo for the blog it was between this cool film poster or one of that odd Verizon guy who says, "Can you hear me now?"

Uh huh. Yeah.

As the post title says, "Talk to me"

(I'm reading for some real time interaction bloggy)

What it doesn't say is: when...

I guess now is good for starters.
I mean, I'm logged on right now on, so if you're up for a few quick IM exchanges--get at me.

If now isn't the best time, well you can always leave a comment, an email and perhaps we can all set up a kind of conference. We'll play it by ear.


Toodles.

Censorship has been severely underrated and unappreciated

Bet you didn't know censorship was such good times now did you?

Bet you didn't even think for ONCE, that a barred image could win a game of pong, majestically meat spin or make you shake your money maker, huh?

And yet censorship is also out to save the unsaved. Yeah here's looking at you, you pervos! Were it not for censorship we might all be tragic sissy unsaved red commies right now too, check it out:

Well they couldn't save all of you. Yeah you tube folk is doomed.

Comments anyone?

Just in case you thought I didn't get back to ya (either email or something), I thought I'd spend a few mins today going thru the posts and putting comments.

I appreciate that some of you take the time to type. Most people don't even take the time to wash their hands when preparing food...so many many thanks.

I might've posted them right on the original post, or replied to comment...but in case I didn't here is a little recap.

Mind you they are not in the order as seen in the page, but rather the order that they are happening in my head RIGHT NOW:

I won.
I still don't know why I do the blog thing.
I actually DIDN'T ever go all the way with the Phil, at least in a way that most people would count count(so maybe that's why I don't have any of his clones phew)
I want to make time stop on the weekend.
I don't know how to create widgets.
Thanks, but I still wish I were taller. It's always size isn't it?

What counts?

Maybe it's a draw.

I have a number.
I'm sticking to that number too no matter how uncool or sad or whatever it might sound or look like.

And yeah maybe I did a little "girl math," but hey we're supposed to be good at literature and sewing right?

You don't let a girl do your taxes do you?

Don't answer that.

Instead, let's go back to the numbers other people go for.

Some people (I'm not pointing fingers or naming names) however prefer to either pretend like they don't have one, or are just way way sluttier than me.

Take in point someone I really really like who said:

"The fact that I'm unable to come up with my "number" has less to do with confusion over the volume of dudes I've bedded, and more to do with being confused on who exactly counts. "

Hmm?

"I've dealt with one-stroke jokes, brewer's droop, coke d*$#, and gay dudes, all of whom have managed to wedge their erections (or semi's) into me, but not long enough for it to make a blip on my *bleep*. "

!

So the question remains:
If you only poke your head into a party, did you really attend?

Someone else was quick (funny) to say:

"Doesn't count. Just because you pulled your car into the garage, that doesn't necessarily mean that anyone got serviced, mkay?"

I think I agree.

You?

Working for the weekend (weakend)

Hey bloggy, sorry I didn't post today(or a few hours ago). It's like the weekend is already here...minus the fun.

I'll do my best to blog some later,nite night.

Why the blogging?

These days I've been shutting my laptop like most people shut a door they didn't think they were going to open in the first place.

My poor little Macbook, once a door to music, iChat, cartoons, emails and musings, has also had it's gateway to stuff I wouldn't think about advertising.

Yes, the blogging.

Why the blogging?

And it's not only me. Yeah, let's go there.

What is it about the blogging...so free even?
Why can people get so personal with their blogs?
Why do they blog about the sex?

We already know that life blogging has been around for the better part of a decade (or more, depending on how you’re counting).

By extension, so has sex life blogging (You literate pervs!). As the medium has evolved and changed, as it’s morphed and mutated and mainstreamed, it’s effected countless lives:
For better and for worse.

Relationships have been strengthened, relationships have been destroyed; communities have been built and lives have been turned upside down.
I know of a number of people who've even made a living out of it, but that again is a different story (unless you throw it in with the whole life thing)

"And through it all, one has to wonder: why do we sex blog?"

Oh sure one could just as easily ask why anyone blogs about their personal life, period.
BUT, sex is such a loaded and taboo topic, it adds an extra layer of complication to that bloggy equation.

So why? Why?

I'm waiting for some answers. Actually I'm gonna grab a little something to eat, but maybe I'll get some food for thought.

First come, first serve

In case you weren't there here's a little video of how today's game went down:



The parts of me and my partner are being played by Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. Yes the faces change, but the story is the same.

Love

Quickie

Hiya hiya hello, and yes I'm in a rush...have a game in a bit(tennis, hence the wrist band and shorts), but if I'm not too beat (literally for I am a bad sport), I'll do my best to jot something when I get back.

Till then, feel free to email me, read a book, partake in some kind of charitable deed...whatever the mood suits you.

Actually, this is probably a really good time to think up some subjects or suggestions to throw my way. Hey that's a feature for you, yeah?

Tuesday Venting (yours).

Enjoy and see you later bloggy.

Ballpark frankness

For a while I was toying with the idea of calling my blog:

"The Incredible Adventures of the Undoable Girlfriend."

A kind of behind the scenes look in the life of a gf who's bf never puts out (why else or how else would I find the time to blog really?!)...and maybe even the stories of other past BFs who behaved like an Al Bundy to my Peg Wanker Bundy(eesh).

Making it a kind of sad sounding board to all my missadventures in "strikeoutsville" otherwise known as my GF career.


I had all the little categories and even ways of tagging it all set up in my head.
Some of them sporty, some of them funny (to me anyway)

BUT I also had to stop and talk to myself (as any sane blogger would do), "Sure it'd be funny and fall into that whole self deprecation thing that's ever so popular with the kids, but would it really be genuine?"

Because if my other paper diary (with a key) ever got out...or if these walls could talk...well...I'm not one to brag, but ahem ahem.

Even the losers get lucky some time right?

But yeah, there was also an idea about posting a kind of countdown/chart of every shot (or attempt made by me), and strike (ie "I have a headache")

It could've been a nice little widget reading:
Blank many days GF has gone without.
Blank many times struck out.


And then there's that whole, "Gimme a break, you're a girl..."
Lots of things, you (if you're a male reader reading this right now) have said to your GF or female friend of choice when they've gone on about not getting a bit of something something.

But yeah, that widget would have been ruined/null...Specifically since I just got some a few minutes ago (D'Oh!)

Maybe if I do a recount. And use today as Day one.

Well we'll see, tomorrow is a new day with new things to bring us.
I'm super sleepy.

I'm just gonna walk the base and crash out.

Phil 'er up

Dinner is waiting, so I don't want to write a whole lot less it get cold, but I also think maybe this next little nugget of info or enlightenment has to jotted down for posterity. This is probably the best place for it too since it does cover some not so family rated material (and yet it does).

Alright, so I'm getting out of work and decide to stop by the store to pick up a few supplies needed (shampoo, paper towels, a new set of bulbs, and some bread). I'm in the bread aisle, pressing away at the little loafs to see which one is the least hard/stale when I feel a little press on my shoulder.

Maybe the bread has decided to fight back?

Nope, instead I turn to see the hand connected to the one making a squeeze at my shoulder and well--it's well let's call him uh Phil (no real names right, how else can we protect the innocent).

Phil (for those of you who don't know me, and LOTS of you don't), was a guy I used to see my freshmen year of university. I say see, because it sounds a lot better than saying an slightly older guy I used to mess around with while I pined and waited for another to notice me.

Nice nice guy, really good looking too. Probably TOO GOOD looking actually (I should write about that another time).

Anyway, Phil doesn't live here, but by some freak chance happened to be down on business/visting...also happened to be shopping at the store closest to my route home...

It's interesting, but all the while he's catching me up on his life (as much as a person can in a manner of 1 min), I can't for the life of me stop staring at a giant stain on his shirt.

It's like a weird color too. Not really chocolate, not really mud, maybe paint or soy sauce? Maybe all of those things combined?

And it's not like a freak kind of stain either...there's almost a controlled chaos about it....

I'm looking at it so much, I begin to wonder and hope an appiratition shows up: Like the face of Jesus or Elvis.

Now wouldn't that be something?

Well, I guess Phil notices and then covers the stain with his hand and smiles.

Then he pulls at the shirt so I can get a better look at it.

Gleaming that million dollar smile he's always had and says, "Yeah, my kid. She spilled stuff on me. I don't think I've had a stain free wardrobe since maybe last fall...when she couldn't walk."

Wow, Phil has a kid!

Wow, someone I used to see is a DAD now?!!

Holy cow maybe I am sterile! (If people I used to see have kids now...what does that say about me? Of course we don't know if...well I digress).

We hug, we promise to catch up later. Maybe email or something (yeah that's probably not going to happen) and then go our seperate routes.

I'm making my way to the register, people of all ages (many of them young) are just more amplified in the store. Many of them with little kids hanging off of them like vines and monkeys.

Phil is one of them...he's marked even, and he's happy about it.

I see the little blonde tot in a shopping cart being pushed by Phil's wife...who strangely (in a maybe what if scenario)kind of looks like me if i were older,taller and had a penchant for sleeveless shirts.

I guess he tells her I was a school friend, cause she smiles and waves at me.

I'm pretty sure he didn't tell her the nature of our relationship.

I'm trying not to think about Phil naked as I wave to his nice wife and kid. Not an easy task, because I think I have a mind like a steel trap about those kinds of things.

Hey someone shows you their goods (and boy were they goodies), you're going to remember.

But that's another story and my food is getting cold.

Phil...and having a fill of it.

Shut eye (should I)

I'm going to get a little shut eye in a bit, but I didn't want to pass up another nano of chance to at least keep the blog thing going.

Now I don't know if I'm going to keep this as a daily thing, because well...I'm too lazy or distracted a person to do so (but I'll at least do my best to throw in a few things on a less than dead kind of schedule).

I have all kinds of blogs or rather inner monologues that happen through out the day, I just don't happen to be near a computer when it happens.

I suppose I could try for something in the vlog capacity, or even a podcast, but I think that would defeat the purpose of being anonymous wouldn't it? While I'm not the girl with the gift of gab, I'm pretty sure people would take notice of me holding a microphone or camera to myself around town...



Anyway as far as what happened to do in the world of "not blog thinking"
It was another typical Sunday.

We caught up on chores (I did anyway), watched a little television, talked about nothing and then partook in that feeling of, "Oh man Monday is coming up already?"

I was kind of hoping we had gone somewhere, maybe even out of town (I would have sprung for gas) but it seems he's less and less interested in doing anything anymore.

I'm not really up to saying or mentioning it either, because if sitcoms have taught me anything, it's like step one into the path of"nagging gf".

Sitcoms however make a killing in rerun revenues...so...

No contest

It's a no brainer.

I can't expect to do daily or even serious blogging on the tube.
I appreciate the messages, the occasional comment and all the stuff everyone is willing to post on the tube, but I also have to be realistic.

If you have to pick between reading my blog or looking at the other stuff...c'mon!



Even if you are looking through blogs, it's just TOO TOO easy for one of my lame posts to get lost in the abyss of nudity and booty.



The "vanilla blog" (as someone put it) will have to take it. Take most of it anyway.

Sure it'll mean my posts will fall deeper into the abyss known as "nobody's looking" (hey that's probably best), but it also means I can log in without the worry of numerous rated R appendages decorating and filling my screen.
Yeah you know who you are.

So blogger, here is your GF.

Have a day.

Going Bloggy

I'm not sure if I'm going to make blogspot my platform for spewing things.

It seems like the right thing to do considering how easy it is to use (that is if I really take google into consideration), but even now as I type I feel a bit hesitant.

Maybe it's like anything else..always with the hesitations.

I just don't know if I feel comfortable...it feels so OPEN.

Sure I want a place to journal things, but I also want a place that isn't going to be so obvious.
Does that make any sense?

Luckily there is a delete button...

Anyway, I've copied every post I've made to the "other" location and pasted it them here (just in case it's been missed and well so this place wont look so completely dead).

Going Bloggy,

Six Things You May or May Not Know About the girlfriend

Six Things You May or May Not Know about the girlfriend

Go Back [Jun 21 2008, 6:09 pm]

Six Things you may or may not know about me:

In no order of relevance:

1.) Sex:

(hold on there, I'm talking about the gender)

I'm a girl.
I think a girl is anyone who's born with girl organs and hasn't given birth to anything.
Of course I also think "a lady" is someone who either has class, owns a doily, or is older than me, but not too old that I'd have to call "An Old Lady"
Lady is also a term that may be used when referring to one's partner, ie, GF. So perhaps in that sense, my BF would say, "That's my lady."
I haven't heard him say that, but it could happen.

2.) Marriage, children:

Just Say No.
I have done or had neither. I'm too immature and terrible a person to get into any of that sort of business. It also is of very little interest. The notion that people need to legally express their feelings for someone seems kinda bleh to me...
I'm secretly grossed out by pregnancy. I pretend to be happy for people when they tell me they're expecting because, I guess I'm happy they're happy, but if I were really only taking my feelings into consideration about the entire matter, they'd simply be, "Eww."
Or "Wow, really? More kids? Like there aren't enough orphans who need good homes? You really think your genes need to continue?"
Yeah, I'm a terrible person, I'm sorry. Let's move on.

3.) Height

Size queen I am not.
I think I could be taller. I wish I were taller. I've been wishing for it for years...sadly, it's been the kind of wish that's gone un granted. I'm still at a shrimpy and boring 5'4" or 5'5" (depending on shoes).

4.) Relationship

Relationship is a strange word.

I've been with the same BF for 5 years. I think it's five years. Sometimes it feels like longer.
The BF is a nice, intelligent, thoughtful and funny soul. He is my best friend and he's been patient and probably unrealistic with my doings/beliefs.
I don't think he is the end all and be all, but I would be stupid to think I wouldn't be devestated if he ever left me.
As much as my eye has wandered (and it has, and does), it is very extremely and totally unlikely that I will ever mess things up on purpose.

5.) Fun

Fun Rocks!!!
Fun for me is naps, going to shows (I try to go to as many as possible, it's my biggest of weaknesses), collecting music, reading, writing up ideas that no one will ever care for, and just making the most of these days. I want to get as many stamps on my passport as possible, and I want to make sure I remember things in a nice light despite my tendency to occasionally get dark about things (and I do that quite a bit).

6.) Why am I posting on this site?

That is the question.

I suppose I like the open anonymity that comes with Xtube.
Obviously I can (should it ever turn up) write kinda blue in here(I don't think anything would shock anyone), or even get an audience that's "adult" (not immature ha).
Other blog places well they probably have other kind of standards and expectations.
And well, it seems like everyone uses this place as a kind of venting spot (granted it's usually the kind that involves pants)... Dunno.
With all the exposure and "sharing" that goes on in here, it seems like I could easily blend in. Nothing I post will ever take the eye away from boobs or peen, but nothing I post will be too far out by comparison either.

I think I can trust you all to be adult and open about things too.

Anyway, that's six things you may or may not have no about me...

If there are others, I'm but an email/IM/comment away.

Have a great weekend!

A Quick One While He's Away

Read it quickly:

Go Back [Jun 19 2008, 9:08 pm]

Hi All. :)

As the title says, today's little post will be (not like the stuff you're all acquainted with ;) ) little and quick.

The BF is stopping by in a bit and we're going to probably do the dinner and a movie thing. Maybe I'll tell you all about it later...maybe maybe :)

If I knew he were ok with me posting on here, I'd probably do so in the car or via our phones, with him happily cheering my blogs on..but uh that's unlikely to happen....

Anyway, I've been reading the emails and polls and will definately take to your words to heart. I'll do my best to better keep up with some of you.

I'm thinking I might even set up a separate blog elsewhere (as a certain Xtuber suggested) so I can access it in places where I wouldn't normally be able to access XTube (it's fine and all that you're really proud of your bits, but I don't think I could really have my laptop open to a page of wangs and things should the urge to blog and comment arise).

Ok well, I better get going. Keep up the great "work" guys.

Laters.

The Porn Identity (part 1)

Now here is where it gets interesting.
Read it:

The Porn Identity (pt.1)

Go Back [Jun 18 2008, 8:51 pm]

Hello readers and tubers. Hope today is going smashing.

Are you ready for another installment that is:

MY DULL BLOG POSTINGS?!

Yay!!!

Ok,

Day three, more hits, more requests, more mail, and still very little about "The Girlfriend" (cue mystery music).

Why? What's with all the mystery? What's going on? What's up with that name anyway?

Why did I choose to go by that moniker in here?

Well...

I guess more than most things, it's the title that's been giving to me for a long time now.

I'm pretty much a "career girlfriend" (for lack of a better phrase for it)...atleast it kind of feels that way.

Career girlfriend?

Well, I'm never not coupled (which is odd considering I typically say or do things in a manner more fitting to single people, but I digress), and I'm in no rush to take the kind of leap that requires a judge, a minister or some kind ritual.

Being a GF is a nice fit. It means you have someone to take places all the time, you need not worry about last calls, and so on and so on (you don't need the mushy details, you know).

The main thing too is that whenever my BF and I go anywhere, and there are new people for me to meet--it's how it goes.

It's how I'm introduced.

He never says, "Hey this is _ _ _."

I guess people don't need to know the little detail that is my name (I'm fine with the mysteries), if I'm meeting people.

He always says, "Hey this is my girlfriend."

Which is followed with me either saying my name in a sigh, and extending my hand out, or just extending the hand out and nodding politely to those newly met.

There are other variations too though...don't get me wrong.

Stuff like:

"Can you call my girlfriend over here?"

Or, "My Girlfriend did blah...or she said blah..."

"I should probably see if my Girlfriend wants to ____"

Etc etc.

I'm pretty sure his friends (whom I've dined and hung with on a number of occasions probably never use my name in conversation).

Saves me on burning ears though right? :)

Anyway, I guess that's that for now.

If there are other things that need identifying. Don't be a stranger.

Member for a day

Getting kind of into the blogging thing,
Re read it:
>

Member for a day

Go Back [Jun 18 2008, 1:35 am]

Yeah, I'm back. Another day another blog (technically it's another day I think). Yeah, It's been a few hours since I last posted anything on here...Why back so soon?

Well, I'm not sure If i'll be able to post tomorrow (better safe than blogless)...and well I couldn't help but wonder what else was going on in my absence.

So what did we miss or didn't?

Okay, let's see...

Stuff that's happened:

The Celtics won, cool.

The stuff I added to my profile FINALLY updated, cool. (It even says that I've been a Member for a whole day--wow wow wee).

It looks Like I have friends on the Xtube, cool cool.

Most of said friends, don't seem to be uh "shy"...:)

And I've gotten some emails that I'm considering taking hints from...Meaning, I may consider what they've said and may post them up here on the blog.

Of course, it wouldn't hurt getting a little more feedback.

Thanks for stopping by, and hopefully we'll get some better blogs going.

I appreciate your taking the time to write actual blogs. You seem quite interesting, and it's good getting to know you better.

I've noticed that Xtube lags horribly sometimes, I can check out a profile that shows on the main page as being created hours ago and when it opens the actual profile it still only shows being active for minutes. Just a bug, I suppose, but still annoying.

Tom-

Jun 18 2008, 7:09 pm

Day Two

The Second Post I made to the site. GO on read it:

Day Two(tube)

Go Back [Jun 17 2008, 8:54 pm]

Hello Tube people...how's it going?

But most importantly what can I tell you?

As the title says, it is indeed day two, or day Tube harhar.

Work and the usual stuff that goes on with my days, was biznazz as usual.

Yes, yes, everything went without any kind of hitch, pitfall or drama, and I would probably say all was "fair" and "ok"...

But work, and life--eh, I don't think you even wanna read or hear about that though right? That's not why you're still reading, right? :)

Hmm, ok, well I guess while that boring stuff was going on, other things were happening on the web--specifically HERE.

(No surprise...there's always stuff going on in here.)

My inbox had it's usual number of spam and whatnot, but what really surprised me was the amount of mail from some of you Xtubers.

I mean, it Looks like my profile didn't totally get lost in the tube mix--my second day and I'm welcomed with all kinds of "friend requests"

Yay!

How many of them are genuinely going to be "friends" and not spambots? Well, I guess we'll find out in the coming days...

Still, I wont lose all hope yet... After all, I do like getting mail that isn't selling me land, magic pills or inheritances. I'm definitely in the market to make some new friends, hear some good news and have or share laughs.

I'm kind of stoked...no, that's not true, I'm really stoked and really surprised at the interest and niceness this day has brought. So, thanx, thank you very much.

Let's make more of these days.

Here's to you and to all good things,

"Friends" :)

P.S.

Does this blog allow HTML?

<

	COMMENTS
	I'm glad you're enjoying your stay here so far. I find it to be a pretty friendly place, overall. Welcome! Tom- Jun 17 2008, 9:25 pm

1st Day Post

The following post was originally posted on a certain website that starts with a letter and ends with an ube.
All kinds of puns could be brought to attention, but why?

Anyway, if you aren't familiar with it, cool. If you are, then why am I repeating myself?!

Read again:

1st Day at the Tube

Go Back [Jun 16 2008, 8:24 pm]

Well it's day one in the Xtube.

Okay, maybe not first first, as I've seen the site a few times before, BUT it is the first time I sign up and log in officially.

Sure, it's not the first web community I've ever joined (hello, who's not on Facebook, MySpace, and the rest right?)but it is the first community I wont ever bring up in mixed company that's for sure...really very unlikely that'll I'll ever post any stuff either...(well, we'll see, right?)

I don't know if the blogs are intended to soley "arouse interests" or if they're like any other blog. I guess I'll see how it goes.

In all likeliness, I'll look around and comment on other people's stuff.

Here's to new things. Cheers all around.

	COMMENTS
	@bobbie030 Thanks, although I doubt 46 seconds is a record...then again, stranger things have happend. :) @freebird-nwhere It can't be the EXACT story, can it? Surely, you're up to something cooler than I am right now :) Jun 17 2008, 10:15 pm same same.. my story wuld be easily the same.. hit me back if u get bored.. and welcome to xtube. Jun 17 2008, 4:54 am you're profile says you've been a member for 46 seconds... and already posted a blog.... way to go..... Jun 16 2008, 10:59 pm